”.. And boys still drive whatever internet culture is. The dominant tone of the internet is basically a teenage boy: self-defensive, casually offensive, easily distracted and definitely over-stimulated, perpetually moody, horny and sensationalistic. It’s as if your annoying little brother’s personality now defines society. And he’s really not comfortable with girls. They’re mostly unknown to him. Some are hot and some are not. Some are way too smart and most aren’t smart enough. Girls don’t share his obsessive nature, his need to be right, his urges. They want to go out and meet people. They make demands and judge. Internet boy culture is not a particularly hospitable place for women. It pinions between lust and hate..”
Went to Durbs with my Mama but literally just for the day, came back with my bestie the next day for my Grandmama’s birthday (see photos below). Its such a strange strange place for me because I swear its like a time warp. And the people are so strange. Like wow gold teeth everywhere and in the club, no rhythm anywhere. I thought I was bad but those peeps dance next to the beat. And the beat is usually hella outdated, old ass music blasting from speakers in real nice clubs. Very odd. Anyway fun in the club (nothing beats laughing your ass off at weirdos) and had fun on the beach, I’m super brown at this point. And the guy in the middle, posing in his onnie, well he made my day.
Yknow how there’s always that one place where everything is just flippen perfect and you can always eat your favourite food and do your favourite things and just bask in love in abundance? That’s my Grandparents house for me. We spent the day there on Sunday and as per usual, my brother and I ran away to adventure on my Grandpa’s scooter (how cute is this thing? He spruced it up himself and drives my Grandmother around on it sometimes. They are soooo cute the way they’re still in love.) So we had the usual fun times, they live in an old mining town so its really dope driving alongside the railway with glistening mine dumps everywhere. THEN we stole my lil cousins’ bikes, shiiiiiit that was hard work! But mad fun. Its also just so so nice playing outside surrounded by people you love. And then EATING, family lunches are the future. The cutie at the bottom (also masquerading as The Stig) is my lil cousin Remy Luke. The kids in my family are cuh-yoooot but this one is next level.
Shot by Riaaz Ameen. This dude got bitten by Tarantulas but lived and used to enjoy driving drunk but now he has learnt his lesson and stopped. Which is a relief because he is quite cool sometimes and I basically want him to live forever.
So the drug opium is produced by “milking” latex from the unripe fruits or “seed pods”) rather than from the seeds but all parts of the plant can contain or carry the opium alkaloids, especially morphine and codeine. You should know what these are. If you dont, well then you’re stupid and need to read more because drugs are fascinating and these two especially. What this means is that eating foods that contain poppy seeds (like muffins) can result in a false positive for opiates in a drug test. The test is true positive in that it indicates the presence of the drug correctly; it is false only in the sense that the drug was not taken in the typical manner of abuse.
This is a bit of a double edged sword. You could eat them to hide possible opiates in your system but I think this is only really benficial if you like Heroin in which case you actually just need Jesus, poppy seeds arent gonna save you. Or eat them to be naughty juuuust in case you have a test approaching and want a reason to go “Ha! You fuckers havent caught me yet!” I’m still on the fence about the wisdom of such an action but I like the idea nonetheless.
On Mythbusters (I dont watch TV, but shit like this amuses me. Makes me feel like I’m watching Bill Nye the Science Guy. I loved that dude.) one guy ate an entire loaf of poppy seed cake and tested positive for opiates just half an hour later. Another one ate three poppy seed bagels and first tested positive two hours after eating. Both tested positive for the remainder of the day, but tested negative seventy-two hours later. This is very cool because poppy seeds are actually very tasty but they’re fun to play with too. If you like playing with your food (like I do) then you will enjoy them. I personally like to pick them off rolls and make a little poppy seed colony and give them names.
But now be careful though. I’m not 100% sure of the veracity of this information but I think that in some American states (not sure about SA) the consumption of poppy seeds is illegal if you’re in like a rehabilitation centre (for obvious reasons) or in prison. I hope that their are some prison inmates reading this Tumblr. If there are, hit me up yo, I’m so so interested in having a jailbird pen pal. Just one of those things I’ve always wanted. Also, the sale of poppy seeds is banned in Singapore because of the morphine content. They’re also banned in Saudi Arabia because of various religious and drug control reasons. In one extreme case in the United Arab Emirates, poppy seeds found on a traveler’s clothes led to imprisonment. Eish. I’m excited about this information buuuuut best believe I’m going to careful next time I chow a lemon poppy seed muffin because I’m hella clumsy and the knowledge that crumbs have the potential to devastate my life is quite scary.
Have you always dressed identically? Monette: When we were very young, our mother would dress us in different outfits to make it easier to tell us apart. Later, when we started dressing alike, she didn’t like it. Mady: She always made a point of giving us different gifts and treating us as separate individuals. Monette: But it’s fun to wear identical clothes! It amuses us to see people’s reactions on the street, they turn around and give us strange looks— Mady: —because we still dress alike at our age. Uniqueness might be important to singular people, but it’s not to us.
What do you mean by “singular people”? Mady: Singular people are those who are not twins. What I mean is, for example, if a singular person sees two people dressed the same, it’s a shock to them. Monette: We’re not singular people, to us being and dressing alike is part of our personality. It would create an imbalance if one of us would be dressed casually while the other would be dressed up and wearing high heels. Mady: It would feel like wearing both outfits at the same time. We are very balanced so we can’t have that!
Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.
"It is my deep and personal belief that the single greatest shortcoming of our constitution is the fact that the university system is not included in the provisions of Chapter 9 (where the Public Protector, Auditor General and Human Rights Commission are provided for). This chapter is headed “State Institutions Supporting Constitutional Democracy”, and there is no institution which has contributed more to the attainment of constitutional democracies around the world than higher education and well resourced libraries (of course I would advocate the substitution of the term “State” with “Public” as well). The corollary to this belief is the view that our constitutional democracy will not be secure until we have a culture of critical thinking, which is the mark of free societies..
.. What South Africa needs, and what we must demand, is a culture of the responsible minister serving the higher education sector, as opposed to the higher education sector serving the interests of the ruling elite. Until this culture is firmly entrenched, people will die in avoidable tragedies and thousands of valuable, meaningful human beings will be deprived of their dignity by a society that purports to hold dignity at its core. As South Africans, we must, in our own minds, unpack the tragedies and contradictions which so pollute our society. We must expose the hypocrisy of those in power. We must act in defiance of the tendencies that seek to undermine our consciousness.”
Excerpt from “Doctor Nzimande, I Presume” by Paul Hjul. Illustration by Alastair Laird.
I swear, 1 February 2012 is going to feel like my birthday. A friend of mine made me LAUGH when she told me that after seeing me tweet about eating ribs, she added ribs to her list of things to treat herself with once we’ve gotten past January. I’ve totally taken a leaf outta her book and made a long ass list of things I’m gonna spoil myself with the minute the dark cloud of poverty abates. First up: cherry milkshakes everyday. Of course, this comes after the monthly necessary expenses like bills, petrol, cigarettes and Mr Price splurging.
I keep reminding myself that my dope as fuck holiday was worth my current state of destitution (it really was) but nonetheless, scrounging around for cigarettes and looking at my Mom with puppy dog eyes is not something I want to continue beyond this month. Of course there is nothing for it but to grit my teeth and persevere in poverty (by the way, after lamenting how gross it is having no money to my Mom, she goes “So you wanna beat poverty do you? Kick a hobo.” SMDH) Unfortunately, said perseverance can and will only reveal itself at home. Which is taking a lot of mental adjusting because though I may deny it, I love the streets. Or rather, I love things; it is the promise of some kind of forgettable but momentarily exciting experience that gets me in heels. I’m one of those people, show me something shiny and you BET I’m gonna follow you down dark dingy alleyways. Also, I like getting pretty and sometimes I just like bouncing off people, so basically, I am a recipe for disaster when it comes to sitting my brokeass at home.
Anyway so I spent this weekend in for the first time in ages (bar visiting a pal and then promptly curling up on the couch after copious amounts of fruit juice and a much needed munchie-inspired midnight bowl of cereal) and had to bitterly concede that its fun. I read something on the benefits of girls staying in on weekends and I think I’m going to have to start rethinking my go-go-go lifestyle. Some (mostly paraphrased) thoughts inspired by my most recent enlightenment:
1. The outside world is full of gross things. By gross things I don’t just mean the unnecessary gross things like paying for parking at malls or lecherous metro cops. Or even those people who stand too close to you and breathe down your neck. No, gross things like those near-daily disappointments by existing and potential friends and lovers. THIS is enough to make me a hermit for ETERNITY. And all the constant and pulsing possibilities of embarrassing yourself. Whenever I get home from a particularly crazy night out, I always have the inexplicable sense of relief like “Whew nothing bad happened!” that I can’t explain. I think subconsciously I know that while having the BEST time ever, the danger of tripping onto my face is very real. That danger is of course nowhere near eliminated when staying in (I fall most when sober and at home) but the embarrassment is of course lessened.
2. Nice things at home: music you like, everything you already paid for, the opportunity to be as disgusting as you want. Prime pimple pressing time.
3. An opportunity to get tough. Obviously those who still somehow have healthy finances will judge your decision to stay indoors (I’m looking at this January period as a possible precursor of things to come, a trial period if you will) and call you boring sometimes and try to convince you that you’re missing out. This is my biggest problem, chronic FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) BUT the goal is to not cave and take offence. “To be unoffendable is, like, an incredible position of power,” something said by someone I don’t know, that I really just wanted to add because I like it.
4. “Staying in offers a contrast. When you might otherwise be outside getting away from yourself, you’re inside experiencing the fluids around your eyeballs (are eyeballs meat?) gently lapping like the Atlantic at nighttime. What, you don’t want to experience everything available to you, even when that experience is sitting in an unused corner of your kitchen to see how it looks from there? What’s the matter with you?” (This is what finally convinced me. Juuuust as long as the unused corner of the kitchen doesn’t include the fridge from Requiem For a Dream talking to me. Because then my life wouldn’t be about the fight to stay in anymore, it would quite simply be about the fight to stay sane. Shiver.)
5. Cleaning. I love cleaning. But in my own time, my own way and with my own music around me. Also, cleaning the shit out of your space will make you want to be in it more. ALSO, shiiiiit creativity abounds when you have no money. I made a curtain by hanging all my headscarves on my curtain rail. It looks nice, choosing which one to wear is a lot easier and the sun doesn’t bother me as much during my afternoon-into-evening naps.
6. You can have afternoon-into-evening naps without having to worry about being woken up by friends wanting to make plans to hit the club because they will have realised that napping IS the plan.
7. Most importantly, staying in is about being alone and taking time to bounce off yourself. I simply cannot understand people who can’t be alone. You don’t have to be emo about it, but sometimes even being lonely is an emotion that can be enjoyed. I am of the opinion that all emotions are to be enjoyed, even the ugly ones, because then we at least know that we’re alive nahmean. That said, sinking into a snivelly self-pity party is unproductive and defeats the purpose of spending time with yourself. You can’t get that acquainted with what’s going on inside of your head if it’s clogged full of mucus because you’ve been crying into your pillow for hours. If you need to cry, cry. But do it in the shower (saves you from polluting your newly cleaned space with used tissues) maybe while leaning against the wall like a GQ model, with the water cascading over your bowed head. I mean, if you’re gonna sob, you might as well try to feel like a supermodel while you’re doing it.
Child star, Oscar nominee, teen bride, and has-been — all before the age of twenty. Leading lady to Warren Beatty, James Dean and finally, Christopher Walken, before she fell from her private yacht and drowned. Her death is still shrouded in mystery but that’s already been sensationalized.
"What’s more interesting than how she died is how she lived: as a stand-in for teens beset by angst the world over, with an image mobilized to both assuage and accelerate societal anxieties about female sexual desire."
There’s a reason why 90% of song lyrics are about love. It is a statistic verified by the Library of Congress that hasn’t changed since the birth of modern music. Even those classic disco anthems where the word funk means fuck and the word dance means love… yes, even those are about romance. Music is a soundtrack and the movie is romance. You’re either in it, or you’ve lost it, or you’re trying to get it or you’re trying to escape it but there would be no good party without it. A gathering of people without romance is a funeral. ~Bronques
Okay so I had the most incredible holiday ever. It was truly marvelous.
Started in Bangkok, I met my best friend Raisa because she had been working in a hospital there for two weeks and just seeing her was enough actually, I had missed her so so much. We spent the first night at the airport, spoke for 6 hours straight, just catching up in the smoking section outside the airport where we set up camp with tons of nail polish and Starbucks and the kind of grins that you only get when reunited with a bestie.
From there we went to Vietnam which was (sorry mom) a complete mind fuck. So so incredible. Such an amazing culture shock, there were just so many things to completely captivate the mind. Aside from the beauty of the place, which literally takes your breath away, the completely different reality lived by the Vietnamese is really consuming. I mean its a socialist country. They have these trucks that drive around and blast propaganda and “community information” from loudspeakers at like 7am. Its dirt dirt poor, inflation is high so we were balling out with 500 000 Dong notes and the quality of life isnt that great. But there is so much to FEAST your mind on. Like THOUSANDS of scooters, with no street lights/stop signs, who move together in harmony, even if its chaotic harmony. On Christmas Eve there was literally a traffic jam of scooters, piled up on the pavements, right up to the doors of the stores lining the streets. Incredible! And they do weird things like squat on kiddie chairs on the side on the road, almost in the gutter, at all the restaurants. The people arent really very friendly to tourists but once engaged, sheeesh the kindness we received was pretty mindblowing. And shopping! Because everything is so cheap, we had a field trip! But unfortunately had to spend all our money on warm stuff because we had no idea that it was winter! And it was MAD cold shiiiiiit! We’re so spoiled out here in Africa.
Dope things we did that should be googled immediately (just to see the magnificence of it):
1. Two day boat trip to Halong Bay.
2. Christmas at St Johns Cathedral, Hanoi.
2. Trip to Perfume Pagoda
I have so much more to say and to describe but I will probably go on forever and ever. Vietnam is a must is basically the gist of my ramblings.
From there we went back to Bangkok but immediately left for Koh Pangan, tourist haven of note. Upon arrival we were a bit sad to be staying away from the main beach, Haad Rin, where the famed Full Moon parties are held, but after experiencing it we were soooo grateful. That place is bananas! Literally, every thing on the island caters to tourists and their whims and Haad Rin is the centre of it. Restaurants of every ethnicity, tattoo shops on every corner, 7 elevens EVERYWHERE and TONS of wasted tourists just going crazy and partying hard.
We’re more about chilled vibes so being away from that was a blessing, we mostly chilled out with bursts of partying. Our resort was INCREDIBLE. Own private beach, oil massages on it, great food, hammocks. We were so so blessed. We did some cool stuff on the island like lie in the sun for four hours straight, covered in coconut oil (our tan game was on POINT after that. Especially in the midst of pasty pale Australians and Brits) and a whole lot of other lazy vibe activities. Absolutely glorious. On a more vibey note, we rented a scooter one day and were shit scared because EVERYBODY crashes them and the costs are high to replace parts plus they hold your passport so that you’re obliged to pay. But I handled like a champ, driving at night in the rain, ocean on one side and all this green expanse of nature on the other.
Party wise, we went hard twice I think, obviously partaking in all that the place had to offer, some of it was AMAZING and other things a bit lame. New Years was dope too. Thousands and thousands of people on this beautiful beach, just revelling, celebrating, going hard. For the most part, we mostly just enjoying being there rather than really being a part of it because we dont really drink and everrrrrrryone was drinking. I mean we had the cursory “bucket” of alcohol which is dirt cheap and the reason for people drunkenly sprawled all over the place, but that was it. We got more of a kick just stepping back and LAUGHING hard at everything going on around us. Lines and lines of people too drunk to stand but getting tattoos (the default design is aforementioned bucket, like wtf why so eager to get inked bro) as well as super full clinics of people who got too excited and got hurt. Raisa made me snort pineapple juice all over myself when she was like “Yo when you find yourself on crutches, its time to go home and not home to your resort, but home to your COUNTRY!” But it was flippen interesting and exciting and I revelled in being THAT girl never wearing clothes at all the parties, I literally only wore bikini bottoms for the majority of the trip. Ahh yea. Clothes are so taxing man. Unless they’re beautiful.
But the best part of the whole experience was experiencing myself, albeit by bouncing off other people. Raisa and I were on the same speed the whole time, even when I was half dying in Vietnam (I alwaaaaays get sick when away from home especially on Christmas and like clockwork, my body just failed me on Christmas Eve and pneumonia attacked me with a vengeance of note) and I swear by the old adage that you only know someone when you go on holiday with them or live with them. Now I know her and I’m even more grateful to have her in my life. She is pretty dope. The insane assortment of people we met and had all sorts of encounters with were just as phenomenal. When we got to Vietnam, we met this amaaaaazing French guy, Heliot, and despite being half in love with him (OMG he is so beautiful and cool for dayssssss), he became like our brother and in a couple of hours, the three of us were sharing a cabin on a boat and raspberry Vodka and our hearts and then he sommer just became family. When he left us (he took a train to China and then walked over the border. Madness. Chinese winters ayeye its not for me hey.) he gave us friendship bracelets to remember him by. Naturally Raisa burst into tears and I myself had a hard time talking because of the lump in my throat, he truly was the most beautiful boy in every way. And it was a good start to the trip because we were pretty screwed, orientation wise, when we first got to Vietnam, so having a boy around helped for confidence levels. Plus we made him our photographer, bag carrier, lighter holder, everything. Luck I tell you.
And even the South Africans we met, just kept winning. One day I was nervous about driving the scooter down the driveway to our resort cos it was this hella scary dirt road where everyone crashes in the dark. Plus there was a rabid dog that kept trying to attack us but thats another story completely. Anyway so this gallant knight appeared, drove his scooter down then walked all the way up (and it was shit far) to ride ours down too. Naturally we bought him a beer (Thai beer is gross. Well as gross as all other beer. Except Black Label, which I only like if you mix it with Stoney) and then chilled with him. WOW What an interesting guy. He lives the most amazing life and had this wealth of mindblowing information that he calmly dispensed to us like it was nothing. Got to talking about all things esoteric , God, religion and he put us onto the “8 Circuits of Consciousness”, dope as hell. And yea he was South African. Which goes to show that while there are interesting people all over the world, it is the unassuming nature of South Africa and the diversity of types that will always make it number one for me. SA Tourism actually needs to employ me, I was SUCH a damn salesperson, selling the country to everyone who’d listen. But its only because I believe in it so much I guess. We have got it soooooo good here, there is so much we take for granted. Like flushing toilets. Vietnam and Thailand have like long drop style toilets. We were SO stoked to get to Hong Kong airport where the toilets flush themselves.
More than anything though, a lot was reaffirmed for me on this trip. I often feel guilty or disbelieving of how wonderful my life is sometimes and then I read this Tolstoy quote “If your life does not feel like a limitless blessing and a limitless joy, then it is moving in the wrong direction.” It almost floored me. And then I calmed down and continued my usual attributing of all wonders to God, who was most certainly BLESSING us hard this whole trip. Not just with the positives but with the absolute lack of negatives thrown our way. The only bad part of the holiday was that we got caught in the rain while on the deck of a speedboat on our way back to Bangkok from the island, and EVERYTHING got wet. So no phone, no ipod and worst of all, no camera. I have some pics from our last two days in Bangkok after we left the island, and they’re pretty fun. I looooove Bangkok, I wanna live there for like 2 months and just trip out on the craziness of the city, its tremendous.
In the mean time though, trying to get the camera fixed so that we can redeem our bragging rights with photos as proof. Should that not work out though, we saw and we lived and that is enough. I cant wait to throw away my monthly contact lenses and trip out on all the dope shit that they got to see this holiday.
That said, I am very glad to be home and inspired like never before to explore and grow and just basically bask in the majesty of this wonderful world given to us.